The Married Guy
by megacoldfusion
Summary: Al Bundy wins a new home in a contest, but the new home is in a place in Rhode Island called Quahog as the family moves there and encounters a family called the Griffins in which the Bundy's live across the street from!


**The Married Guy**

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 **Disclaimer** : The characters of Family guy and Married with Children are created and owned by someone else as this just for fan fiction purposes only.

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Chapter: 1

 **Love, Marriage, and the Family, oh my!**

 **Chicago Illinois, USA**

 **The Mall: Gary's shoe store**

Chicago is a major metropolitan city in America that resides near one of the great lakes. Chicago has numerous nicknames, which reflect the impressions and opinions about historical and contemporary Chicago. The best known include: "Chi-town," "Windy City," "Second City," and the "City of Big Shoulders. With roughly 2.7 million residents it is the most populous city in the mid-western United States. The Willis Tower or formally known as the Sears tower still stands tall among the other buildings within the city. Chicago has several major sports teams that have won championships in the past. Chicago has much history from the past to present day.

Inside the mall at Gary's shoe store a middle aged Caucasian male with short balding brown hair sits alone. He is wearing average clothing for a blue collared slob. His hands rest upon his face as he is sitting on a stool. His name is Al Bundy and he hates his life. At Polk high he scored four touchdowns in one game the only highlight of his career. If he hadn't broken his leg he would have went on to college. However all his dreams were ruined by that dammed red haired woman called Peg. After that he has a couple of kids…he sighed deeply at this.

Oh so how he hates his life and whishes sometimes he would just die or at least the wife. No he is stuck forever this way, drowning in sorrow in a women's shoe store day in and day out. His dignity ruined, his dreams gone and his manhood practically shattered. He so hoped a fat woman doesn't come to the store today, he so hoped a fat woman doesn't come to the store today. Ugh Al is well aware that life isn't fair even to a Bundy like him, in the background he listened to the radio.

Why because it is a slow day and they are having some kind of contest about owning a new home, with nothing better to do, he just sits there and wished he win something big for once and then the radio announced a question as Al listened to it and an answer popped into his mind as he springs into action and heads to the phone to call it as it rings as he says his name.

" _Ok Mr. Bundy_ ," said the radio announcer " _Do you know the answer_ ,"

"That I do," said Al he tells the answer

" _Congratulations you have won a new home_ ," said the radio announcer

"In sunny California," said Al

" _No, Mr. Bundy, in Quahog Rhode Island_ ," said the radio announcer

He sighed for a moment as he wanted to cry as life is unfair and god must be a woman, but wait, perhaps moving out of Chicago could do some good and a place like Quahog can't be too bad as he accepted the prize and hung up the phone, but called Gary the owner of the shoe store that he quits and is moving to Quahog, now he has to go tell the damn family.

* * *

 **Chicago, Illinois, USA**

 **Bundy place**

Bud Bundy is sitting at home waiting for his mom or dad to show up. He is watching Television that has on the Hooters Beauty pageant. He smiled as he drooled a bit until the door slammed in the background and his father appeared. Al hung his coat on the hook and glared at his son to give him some news. Bud could only guess what it is another fat woman coming to the store today.

"Let me guess." said Bud in a sarcastic tone in his voice "A fat woman came in the store today and asked you if those shoes make her fat. Then you said it's not the shoes that make you fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat." He chuckled at that.

"Hell no you moron," said Al "Where is Peg and Kelly?" he asked

"Out shopping," said Bug

"Of course," said Al "Damn women,"

Al goes to the couch and sits down as he puts his feet up, then puts his hand into his pants as he waited for Peg and Kelly to show up as he has news, then the door opens and there they are with bags of clothes, he groaned in annoyance as the two women dropped everything and notice Al has a smile on his face.

"What is it Al," asked Peg "Happy to see me,"

"If that were true Peg," said Al "I would have be happy to see your tombstone,"

"Uh….no fat women in the store today dad," said Kelly

"No, pumpkin," said Al "Daddy won a prize today,"

"MONEY," shouted Peg, Kelly, and Bud

"Hell no," said Al "Your dear old dad won a home in-"

"Sunny California," said Bud "Where the babes are everywhere, the hooters galore for the eye can see and the movie stars we can sue for money,"

"Where guys abs make you drool," said Kelly "And jobs for me who can sleep their way to the top,"

"Wouldn't be the first time you been on top of something Kelly," said Bud

She growled in annoyance as she tackled Bud in which they are roughing each other up a bit and Peg goes to sit down, then the door opens as Jefferson and Marcy walk in as Al hated these two fools, but will be glad to be away from them.

"I heard on the radio you won a home," said Jefferson "Too bad it wasn't in sunny California,"

"Hah, hah, hah," said Marcy "You get to go to Rhode Island,"

"So what," said Al "At least you won't be there you man-chicken looking idiot,"

"Yes I know," said Marcy "Al Bundy gone from the neighborhood forever, they'll be dancing on the street, I know I'll arraign a party and you won't be invited, hah, hah, hah," she left the home afterwards.

"What about our group?" asked Jefferson

"There will always be men out there," said Al "We will thrive,"

"Oh Bundy," said Gary "Don't even think of quitting, because this gives me an idea as I had a shoe store open in Quahog and you know what you are the manager there, so have fun,"

"Ah, well," said Al

* * *

 **Quahog, Rhode Island, USA**

 **New Bundy Home: 3 days later**

It took some doing, but they managed to move in and the home looked rather nice, better than the placed they used to live and the street called Spooner looked very lame and laid back, to top it off Bud and Kelly are enrolled in James Woods high school, as that was strange and what was really weird that Adam West is the mayor, the very same Adam West who was 60's batman he might like this town after all as their furniture is the same.

"I hate this place Al," said Peg "There is nothing to do here, no shopping."

"Well you could always cook," said Al

All three of them laugh as Peg looked annoyed.

 _Giggity, giggity, giggity_

"What the hell is that," asked Al

"I keep hearing it all morning," said Kelly "As I was sunbathing the back yard,"

"I think I saw a guy with a really bad Hawaiian shirt in the bushes who kept on saying it," said Bud

"Yeah I saw him too," said Al "I think it's time he met Al Bundy,"

Al gets up from the couch and gets a baseball bat from the closet, then goes outside to search for this guy and then he found him hiding in the bushes as Al swings and hits him in the back of the head as it sends the man flying, until he lands hard in the backyard as he was knocked out for a moment, but came too as a man holding a baseball bat is standing there.

"Hey man chill," said the man "I was just admiring the-"

Al swings the bat as it lands to the stomach of the man as the man gasped in pain and Al puts his foot on his throat.

"If I ever catch you again watching my daughter sunbathing," said Al "I will stick this bat so far up your ass, you'll have to piss sideways the rest of your life,"

"Ow," said the man "Like I said,"

"Then let me show you the door," said Al

Al then grabs him by the throat, and then smashes his face upon the door a few times as his face is getting bloody and then Al throws him off the property in which the man lands clear across the street into some garbage cans.

"And that Hawaiian shirt looks stupid on you," yelled Al

Al heads back inside as Peg, Kelly, and Bud are there in which Al then realized he'll be going to the shoe store soon to work.

"Well I'll be back later," said Al

"You know I will check out this neighborhood," said Bud

"I wonder if they have a job for someone as beautiful as me," said Kelly

"And I'll watch Opera," said Peg "Maybe I will talk to some neighbors,"

* * *

 **Quahog, Rhode Island, USA**

 **Gary's shoe store**

Al went into the store and it was rather quiet in which he liked it, no customers at the moment and it looked like the shoe store he was working in back in Chicago, however the town isn't so bad and just sat there in which it only a matter of time before a fat woman shows up to ruin his day and it's not like men would ever come in a woman's shoe store.

* * *

 **Outside of the shoe store**

Three people are walking down the street chatting away like always.

The fat one is about over 300lbs with a brown crew cut hair, brown eyes and Caucasian skin; he is dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. A black belt and green pants with brown shoes. The man is a working class Irish American, who is an overweight blue collar worker with a wife and three kids. His name!

 _Peter Löwenbräu Griffin_

The next one is dressed in normal clothing and in a wheel chair with light brown hair and brown eyes, he is a police officer and is prone to anger issues at times, along with other insecurities, he is married with two kids of his own.

 _Joe Swanson._

The last one as He is an African-American male who is very polite to everyone and has a unique laugh, with blue jeans and a yellow shirt.

 _Cleveland Brown_

"You know I get a feeling I've been into the zone before," said Peter

"What do you mean zone Peter," said Joe

"The Twilight Zone," said Cleveland

"No," said Peter "The crossover zone as my senses are tingling, as this will suck worse than Captain Kirk taking on Darth Vader in a thumb wrestling match,"

"Uh…right," said Joe

"Where is Quagmire," asked Cleveland

"Quagmire," said Peter "Is still stalking that teenager who moved in across the street from us, don't know about them….well anyway I am going to get some new shoes, see you guys later."

Joe and Cleveland watch Peter head into a woman's shoe shore and walk away as well.

* * *

 **Inside the store**

Al wasn't busy at all and it had been slow so far, until he heard the dingle at the door and someone had walked in, he didn't see who it was and someone had farted into which Al knew someone is sitting down. A customer and it must be a fat woman as he turned around to see a guy sitting there, he knew men don't ware women's shoes and this guy looked to be a woman in how fat he looks.

"Hey can you get me 8 and half size shoe," said Peter

"What does a guy need shoes in a woman's shoe store," said Al

"I don't know because my shoe size is rather small," said Peter "Hey wait a minute what is a guy working in a woman shoe store," he chuckled a bit

"Dumb luck I guess," said Al "Like your penis size for example, damn your chin looks like Rose's face,"

"Shut-up," said Peter "Your mean,"

"Be a man you fat slob," said Al

"Oh yeah why don't you be a woman," said Peter

"The way you look, you probably are one," said Al "Seriously are there any real men in town,"

"Hah, you're looking for men," said Peter

"Hell no you idiot," said Al "Because your not even one at all,"

"Oh yeah well I work in a beer brewery," said Peter

"That's nothing, I scored four touchdowns in one game," said Al

"Pfft big deal," said Peter "My farts smell worse than my bite," he farts in Al's face

"Oh yeah smell this," said Al he takes off his sock and puts his foot in Peter's face

"Oh my god wash your damn feet," said Peter

"Wash your ass moron," said Al

"I'm telling my wife's daddy, he is going to sue the pants off of you," said Peter

"Oh yeah," said Al "Tell him the leader of NO MA'AM Al Bundy will be kicking his ass personally,"

"No Ma'am," said Peter

"National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood," said Al

"Oh my god I love you," said Peter "Not in a sexual way, so we must form No Ma'am to stop the invasion of the Amazons, this is more cooler than the time I climbed the Effie tower and passed gas to Hillary Clinton,"

* * *

 **Elsewhere**

Bud Bundy is walking down the street as there is really nothing to do in this town, until he ran into a girl dressed in pink and was a little overweight, but rather cute, but wasn't alone as a large kid is with her and he looked rather dumb.

"Hey you're that kid was hiding in the bushes looking at my mom," said Chris

"Not me you're thinking of someone else," said Bud "And say are you that girl who was checking out my ass,"

"Don't look at me," said Meg "Although you are cute,"

"Babe," said Bud "When your with the budmaster, you never come back,"

They kept on talking as an old man is looking out the window and likes what he sees with the boys as he is licking his lips as well.

* * *

 **Griffin's home**

Lois is doing housework as Stewie is watching television as the doorbell rings as Lois goes to answer it and opens the door to see a red-headed woman standing there, she had previous seen the woman moving in across the street and thought of her as some lazy bitch.

"Hi I'm your new neighbor," said Peg "Can we talk woman to woman,"

"Can't say why not," said Lois "I am done doing housework anyway,"

"You do house work god that is pathetic," said Peg

"And I guess a lazy bitch like you doesn't," said Lois "No wonder you look like trash,"

"Are you going to talk woman to woman," said Peg "Or are you going back to your pathetic house work,"

Lois rolled her eyes and slammed the door in the red-headed woman's face as she had no interest in talking to her and went to go cook something as Stewie watched the whole exchange unfold.

"Well it can't be any worse," said Stewie

"Ahhhhh….." said Peter who ran in "Lock your doors, bolt the windows were being invaded by the Amazons, we're all doomed…Lois, Stewie get into the basement I have to warn the mayor,"

"Spoke too soon," said Stewie

* * *

 **Also elsewhere**

Brian Griffin is at the drunken clam and is having a drink at the bar as a blonde woman walked in as she looked like she is in her teens and sat there as she ordered a drink of Hawaiian punch, the barkeeper just laughed and gave it to her anyway.

"Not from around here are you," said Brian

"Whoa! Your snoopy," said Kelly "I am a big fan of you, a real movie star,"

"Uh…right of course I am," said Brian "In fact I can be anything you like, how about dinner at Chucky cheeses,"

"Oh boy dinner with snoopy," said Kelly "This will be fun,"

* * *

 **Mayor West's office**

Mayor Adam west is hard at work or hardly working until his office door bust open as a fat man looked scared and frantic, as another man is with him he has never met before as he hated this town sometimes as it is full of idiot and he had to admit he is an idiot himself.

"Mayor West," said Peter "Quahogis being invaded bythe Amazons call the national guard, the police force, Bubba Smith who was in the first miller light commercial,"

"Oh my god Amazons," said West "I will call the president about this, we will stop these Amazons from invading our fair town,"

"Hey wait a minute Bubba Smith wasn't in the first Miller Light commercial," said Al "It was "Billy Martin,"

"Bubba Smith," said Peter

"Billy Martin," said Al

"Bubba Smith," said Peter

Al lands a right cross to the face of Peter and said "Billy Martin, dumb ass,"

"Bubba Smith you son of a bit," said Peter as he landed his own hit to Al's face

"Let's rock," said Al

Both of them growled and started to pummel each other all around the Mayors office as they are trashing everything as Al then speared Peter to the outside as both of them landed on the road that made a school bus collide with a gas tanker as it exploded, then Al and Peter are punching and kicking one another just about all over Quahog that everything got trashed in which the both of them are evenly match as Al used a baseball bat smash Peter's face as Peter struck back by farting in Al's face.

Then Al took of his shoes as the smell was really bad and got to Peter. Peter was throwing up from the smell as Al showed Peter's face into his arm pit as it made Peter even grossed out even more, but then Peter kicked Al in the groin as Al gasped in pain and kicked him in the knee a few times as Peter gasped in pain, then elbowing him in the stomach and Peter fought back by punching him several times, as Al does the same until he bites him in the nose of Peter and rips it out as Peter bites the ear of Al ripping it out.

In the heat of this fight the yellow chicken comes out of no where with a sledgehammer to smash Peter in the back as he is taken by surprised by his arch-nemesis the yellow chicken showing up in this fight, as the yellow chicken holds Peter's arms, Al hits Peter in the face with punches as the yellow chicken su-plexes Peter a few times and Al then kicked Peter in the stomach as well, then with a burst of strength Peter kicks Al in the groin and attacks the chicken as Peter and the chicken go at it.

Then out of no where a trunk plows right into Peter as the chicken moves out of the way in which Peter is run over by the trunk, as Al was driving it and Peter got up to meet fist to his face, then getting hit from behind from the chicken as the both of them pummel upon Peter, until the chicken throws a piano at Peter and Al uses a pipe to bash away at Peter until he is no longer moving in which the chicken stomps away until he is done.

"And remember its Billy Martin," said Al

The chicken roars for victory.

* * *

 **Later on**

"Hey wait what is going on," said Bud as he work up in bed and is chained there

"Your with me," said Meg "And it's time to bring on the pain," as Meg is wearing a costume and has a whip with her.

Bud screams in Meg's room.

Brian and Kelly are in bed as both of them are messed up as Kelly couldn't believe it she had sex with a movie star snoopy from the Peanuts cartoon.

All the more while Peg and Lois visited their husbands in the hospital in what to make of what had happened, by both women ignored each other as Buck and Stewie looked on in the background to make insults.

* * *

 **The End!**


End file.
